If I could fast forward the calendar every year to December and then run it in slow motion, I would. I love December. Even though as a native Texan my December 25ths don’t tend to fit the Hollywood Christmas stereotype, I still love it. Movies like The Muppet Christmas Carol, The Santa Clause, It’s a Wonderful Life…bring my heart into the holidays. Even though I loathe A Christmas Story, my extreme hatred for that movie still reminds me it’s that time of the year. But there’s one more classic that can never be replaced as a holiday favorite: Home Alone.
Home Alone sits on a shelf of only a select few that will truly stand the test of time as a Christmas classic. Think about it! It was released in 1990! That’s 23 years ago! Sure, the movie is born into our childhood and survives with us through nostalgia. But nostalgia is contagious around the holidays. I may watch it every year but if I start watching it with my girlfriend…then years down the line my children…it won’t die. Think of it this way. Home Alone is Wolverine’s skin while time is…anything that’s blasting him away. Through shared moments and memories these pieces of history live on. It’s truly amazing when you think about it.
Macaulay Culkin way before his Michael Jackson associations and his Party Monster days with Seth Green, played a screaming naive…yet at the same time a genius 8 year old. Somehow he couldn’t put two and three together and just realize that his entire family left for France? He’s helpless and admits it, yet he never calls the police or even checks through one of their 25 windows to see who’s knocking at the door? But when it comes to conquering his fears and annoying a duo of dimwit Christmas bandits with unbelievably painful stunts? He’s da masta.
Weirdly one of my favorite ingredients in this movie is Angels with Filthy Souls. “Keep the change you filthy animal.” Ah, makes me think of Christmas. Though there are other irresistible ingredients in this cake that you can’t resist. To be fair I’m going to list them all at once. Ready? JCJCANOHNOHAHUGHCANPESCI. Wait, that didn’t work. How about one at a time? John Hughes, Chris Columbus, Joe Pesci, Catherine O’Hara, and John Candy. John Hughes is a phenomenal cult classic writer. Christ Columbus has a good reputation for children movies. Joe Pesci makes a mean villain. And Catherine O’Hara and John Candy are each masters of improv comedy. In a movie about potential child torture, it’s good to have a comedic break every now and again.
When all these ingredients are put together and have sex, BOOM…there’s a wonderful cake of a movie. (Wait, that’s not how cakes are made?) Every scene is worth sticking around for. Buzz’s dimwittedness, Uncle Frank’s jerkiness that no one ever calls him out on, Marv as Pinky when Harry is Brain. Hmm…that would be a good cartoon spinoff. Pinky and the Brain meet the Wet Bandits. As long as there’s a Christmas Tree with eggnog waiting for me, I’m in!