Armageddon

Have you ever made a big meal and once sat down and you started eating you noticed you have too many side dishes that nobody is going to eat? That’s Armageddon.

There are too many action sequences to sit through.  

Michael Bay could have scratched all of these off to trim this movie down:

The blowing up of the Russian Space station.

The Armadillo flying off into space (the first time).

The nuclear bomb scenario when the president wanted to blow it up without trying to drill, and the whole dramatic sequence when a bunch of official looking people came in through elevators.

Ben Affleck almost flying off into space out of the hole (the second time).

Bruce Wills almost not igniting the bomb. And then Colonel Willie Sharp acting like he was going to turn the ship around because he obviously demonstrated that he could land the ship well on his first try.

There are many more instances but I have to keep moving forward.

 

I can’t remember the last oil drillers name who died right before Bruce Wills did, but he obviously had to go. Michael Bay must have lost track of the no name guy in the screenplay and had to find a way to kill a character that didn’t matter.

The only thing that the real astronauts seemed to be doing once they got on the asteroid was running around trying to get the radio to work because it really seemed like Houston was helping them out a lot.

When Houston headquarters found out that one person had to stay back what did they do? Billy Bob Thornton gathered everybody around and explained the bad news like he was the only one that heard it from the team on the asteroid. We watched the whole movie watching the headquarters finding everything out at the same time why would Billy Bob have to break the news to them like that?

Slingshot around the moon, really? That’s a whole post all by itself.

And why were the shuttles so close to each other when flying in space? That didn’t seem like the best idea. You have all of outer space and they want to fly side by side like they are a couple of NASCARs.

This is a mess of a movie that I like to revisit every once in a while to remind myself how I should be thankful that there are so many good movies out there I should be watching instead.

And why did the asteroids only hit big cities? The entire world isn’t populated with big cities. Are we really suppose to believe that the guy and his dog survived after that fat guy on the street in NYC right next to them got hit by a space rock? The movie lost me and every sane person in the first two minutes because of that.

I love that when they show the president in the White House that there is just a room full of people with the lights off and the curtains drawn. Why can’t the White House afford good lighting? And where were the rest of the world leaders when the shit hit the fan? I don’t think the president of the United States should be the only one with a say of how this mission was going to go down, even if it was all Americans up there (except for the Russian).

If this really happened I fully expect for the rich, beautiful, and important to be flying out of here on some fancy space shuttle. I can see it now Oprah, Brad Pitt, George W Bush, the Pope, Jerry Seinfeld, Roseanne, and the president all on one big shuttle.

I would hope that if that Armageddon scenario happened today we wouldn’t be sending up a bunch of oil drillers instead of genius astronauts. And that we would have a nuclear bomb that would have a wireless detonator instead of a manual one that causes somebody to sacrifice their life for. You would think that if we had the technology to have remote controls for televisions that the detonator for a nuclear bomb would have the same capabilities.

There are just too many unbelievable scenarios to take this movie seriously. How are we supposed to believe that NASA would be able to train a bunch of oil drillers in about 12 days to function properly in space?

I don’t think I’m going to be sleeping tonight. There are just too many things running through my head about this movie for me to be able to sleep.

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