You remember when Saturday mornings made you excited to get out of bed? I recall my parents being completely confused why I was awake before they were on the weekends. I mean, it’s not Christmas. So why was I awake?
My brothers and I collected all of the Beast Wars toys. They were far superior than the Power Rangers Flip Head Action Figures. They were 2 in 1! I would almost spend more time changing them back and forth than I would actually playing with them. But all of those simple memories aside, what about the TV show?
One year before the show aired, Pixar made history by releasing the first ever 100% computer animated movie. Toy Story will always remain a large part of the cinema timeline. But Beast Wars? Well it wasn’t as fancy as Toy Story…nor as well funded…nor as well written…let’s be honest, it fell short. But for a 90’s kid, nothing else on TV compared. And the fact that is was 100% computer animated made it even more special than the old school hand drawn cartoons. Don’t get me wrong, I still to this day can enjoy a good Tom and Jerry cartoon but watching the 2 seasons of Beast Wars Netflix has available makes it worth so much more. Those were the glory days weren’t they? Your only worries were your multiplication tables and how to outsmart your parents when it comes to chores around the house.
Now that I’m older and could kick my younger self’s keester, I must admit there isn’t much of an appeal past the characters and their transforming. If they really are robots from the future, why can they never shoot straight? Seriously, if I could administer a breathalyzer I would! What do robots drink when they need to let loose? WD-40? And since this is the future, why are they so simple minded? Where are all the other robots that are supposed to be ruling Earth? The Terminators? WALL-E? You know what, it doesn’t matter. Neo will take the Predacons out. I have complete faith in Keanu Reeves’ ability to stop his aging process.
If the Beast Wars really are in the future and really are on Earth, where are we? Why is every rock the same color? And when they all landed and needed a scan the area for a different animal form, why didn’t any scan human remains? A few were dinosaurs. Apparently their bones remained well protected. Why didn’t any of the Maximals or Predacons turn into Audrey Hepburn or Elizabeth Montgomery? No, wait. If I could only ask them one question it would be this: Do Optimus Prime and Princess Leia ever hook up?