The Avengers

I’ve been saying for over a year that I will be at the movie theater at midnight ready to watch The Avengers. What I wasn’t looking forward too was the inconsiderate people who love to talk and make jokes to their friends during the entire movie. I’m not kidding, some guy behind me said his favorite movie of the Avengers’ characters was the first Hulk with Eric Bana. Are you serious dude? Really? You know what, I shouldn’t be mean. Thank you kind sir, for remembering the extra ice in my #3 combo.

For months I’ve accepted the fact that this movie could have failed. The feat they were trying to pull was immensely difficult. Balancing so many favorite heroes in 142 minutes is not something anyone has ever been able to accomplish. Ever. But Joss Whedon was the perfect man for the job. I loved this movie. It was elegant, elementary in its design while incredibly layered between each character, and spectacularly entertaining. The comedic relief showed up in several places, maybe too many. However, the film earned each moment. Your hands would sweat while gripping your seat and each laugh would arrive just at the right moment to remind you that you have an entire box of Dots and Skittles in your lap. (So I prefer fruity candy over chocolate, what of it?)

When the credits roll is when everything sinks in. I start recalling scenes and my favorite lines. But overall, one thought kept scrolling through my brain. The Avengers had all the elements the X-Men movies needed. Bryan Singer was mildly successful with the first two, the third was complete crap, the Wolverine movie is worse than Miley Cyrus’s acting, and First Class was overrated. But they each had one thing in common! None of the action sequences worked! The camera would follow two muties, watch them swing a few super-powered fists, and then cut to two more and do the whole cycle over. Except each cut to a new pair made it seem like their epic adventures were paused until the camera came back around. WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING THE ENTIRE TIME?!?! The Avengers solved that. Watch Iron Man fly off and fight somewhere, 2 minutes later we’ll catch back up and he’s somewhere else taking care of business. Realize that Thor would fly off with his helicopter hammer and fight along side the Hulk, then next time you see him he’s kicking alien keester with the Cap. The film makes you feel like so much happened that you have to come back for a second viewing to remember every fight sequence.

One of the other huge debacles to wrestle with was the double side blade that The Avengers were as a team. They don’t mix well with each other, and I think that the boss Joss covered that as well as he could. I wasn’t completely happy with their bickering, but it by no means failed. The point came across very well. I have no real complaints about this movie. The Avengers will define the 2012 summer blockbuster season. I do hope both The Amazing Spider-Man and Dark Knight Rises will rule the box office with a clenched fist, but they’ll both be wearing Hulk Smash Hands while they do it. “It’s clobberin’ time!” (I realize that’s the Thing, I was just checking to see if you’re paying attention.)


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