Revolutionary Road

I have a theory that Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio are incapable of acting in a present day movie together. First time together, it was 1912. Second, it was 1955. Maybe before they die we’ll get to see them reenact the Watergate Scandal.

In all seriousness, they’re both great actors. And only the WinsDiCapMendes combo could have pulled this movie off. But then again, Revolutionary Road will be forgotten. Why? It was an acting challenge. It’s a critic’s favorite. The story was great on paper. But it’s not a film you would want to watch and then happily discuss with your friends.

Let’s start at the beginning. Their eyes meet across the room. (I rather watch Dora the Explorer wait for me to answer her questions.) He’s full of hot air, she’s full of ambitions that won’t be filled because she’s a woman in a different era. (Kind of like Joanie and Chachi.) Fast forward to them living in a suburban home. They have kids. They have marital issues. He cheats. They introduce the glimmer of hope for the two of them. (No, it’s not season passes to Six Flags.) It fails. She cheats. So on and so on. I stand by what I said, all done incredibly well. Revolutionary Road was gleaming with talent. (Unlike anyone named “Kardashian”.) And the way each scene was dressed up by the director, art direction, costume design, director of photography…sublime. (Why is something below a lime such a great parallel to excellence? Dangit, now I want some pineapple.)

Revolutionary Road is probably best described as a high budget Sundance movie. Which unfortunately and fortunately is becoming more Hollywood than ever. I think Hollywood should stick to pieces like Inception or Michael Bay’s upcoming Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle movie who are actually now aliens…for some reason or another.

There were a few scenes where you could take Kate and Leo and drop them directly back on that sinking boat. Same body language. Same crinkled faces. Same iceberg. I’m not entirely sure these two can be paired with each other on screen again. It would be like putting Arnold Schwarzenegger in Will Smith’s role in I, Robot. All you’re going to think about is The Terminator. Or Junior. (Probably not Junior.) Especially since Titanic was just rereleased in 3D. As much crap as that movie takes from haters, it’s still a spectacular movie. Even I want to go see it. And I still have my stub from 1997! (I hope you’re still trying to figure out why I said “Same iceberg.”)…(I’m going to say it’s a metaphor, but I’m also going to be honest and say I didn’t come up with that metaphor excuse till just this moment.)

Revolutionary Road is a film for film buffs. It’s full of beautiful scenes, real intense drama that we as an audience can relate too, and superb acting. (Who thought it was a bright idea to add a “b” at the end of “super”? Is this really how our language evolves?) If you enjoy the sad endings as much as I, because it pulls the stories closer to reality, you’ll enjoy this amazingb spectacularb incredibleb piece of art.

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