NCIS: something something something stupid

Alright avid TV viewers! I got a treat for you today! And it comes in the form…of a warning. I know, I know. You wanted chocolate. Or some of Willy Wonka’s double-bubble-burple-cola. (It’s just fun to say. I bet it really tastes like Walmart brand applesauce.)

Don’t be fooled by their pretty faces and cleavage. It’s a wonder to me why this show is still on the air. My dad likes to watch these actors pretend to be Navy and solve crimes. I would rather wear a pacemaker when I’m dead. We’re all very aware of the TV series fad of procedural dramas. They’ve always been around but man did they shove it in our faces when CSI took off. Most of them were terrible. And most of them are gone. But a few still linger on. Probably surviving by controlling the 50 year old and up demographic. However, I like Bones. And it’s only because their corny writers know how to circle Brennan and Booth’s relationship better than my dog when he has to take a crap.

NCIS however is a show being shot in the now. But the entire freaking show feels like it was shot in the 1998-2001 era. “Oh look! The set design is growing in sophistication! They have a bigger budget! Awww. But everything is in drab brown and all the computer monitors are bigger than my great grandmother’s casket.” Ignore the fact that I chose a sweet looking picture for this blog, the actual show is terrible to put up with. The writers feel like they got their start in Nickelodeon. And the lighting is sub par. CSI made a dark vibe by dark labs and doom-like stories. Bones is a very bright and clean show. NCIS is brown on brown car interior.

Granted, I haven’t watched the show religiously to really have a solid “hate” opinion. But I’ve seen a large handful over the past few years and still don’t care to remember the character names.  But if you really want to stick with the “Who done it?” shows, here are some far superior suggestions: House, Bones, White Collar, Psych, and The Mentalist.

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