No Strings Attached. No Comedy Attached.

For the past week I’ve seen more than a dozen commercials for Friends with Benefits starring Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake…and I don’t usually watch live TV. So I’m not gonna lie, I’m a bit excited. In a weird move of preparation, I Netflixed No Strings Attached.

Mila Kunis’s That 70’s Show mate Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis’s Black Swan mate Natalie Portman star in an exact plot replica of Friends with Benefits. Only the reason I’m excited about Kunis and Timberlake is because they show character and on-screen chemistry. Natalie Portman, you are beautiful and an amazing actress (I’m pretty sure your Oscar is telling you that exact compliment right now) and I have to say you made No Strings Attached worth it as much as possible. Ashton Kutcher, you are a douche with some mildly interesting movies and you make me want to poor red corn syrup on my wrists and criticize Lifetime movies while dying my hair black.

I’ll admit, I enjoy chick-flicks. The (hopefully) interesting love stories always grab my attention. No Strings Attached had enough of a story to be something in the box office. But the right actors have to bring it to life. There’s a list of some extremely famous movie stars who have had amazing success somewhere in their career and ride on that wave until even their stalkers have left. Keanu Reeves, Lindsay Lohan, and Ashton Kutcher (for starters). Go back to Dude, Where’s My Car?

I have high hopes for you Mila and Justin! Be what you are! Comedic actors who actually act. And Portman, I’m sorry you were casted in an Ivan Reitman film with that pubescent boy who could only talk in monotone.

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